A Letter To My Husband…

Husband,

It’s been 8 years since I first started seeing you.. crazy. Looking back 8 years ago… hahaha I never pictured my life where it is now. I never pictured marrying you, as I was 17 and you were 22. You were older, into things I wasn’t old enough to be into. You were wiser (never mind that was me.) But in all seriousness, over the past years we have had lows, even lowers, and highs and the high is what I live for.

You always ask me what I love about you.

I love the way when I am have a spaz attack moment you either a. giggle which actually makes me even more mad in the moment, or b. you hold me until I calm down.

I love that you try so hard to be the best husband and father we could ask for.

I love your laugh, your sincere laugh. Like watching Rodney Carrington at night laugh. It makes me smile.

I love the way you have to tell me every time you pooped. (okay I actually could care less about that.)

I love when you sing and play guitar its soothing.

I love it that you try to get me to go do things for myself.

I love it that even after we were married you continued to randomly ask me if I’d marry you.

I love that you are predictable (half the time I know exactly what you are going to say or what you want.)

Husband. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you make me cry, and you truly make me love you everyday.  I look forward to you coming home from work and telling me about your day. I look forward to hearing your laugh and smart comments you like to make because you think you are oh so funny. You truly are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to be old and grey with you sitting in rocking chairs on our front porch complaining about how our neighbors need to trim there shrubs or mow there lawn.

I want to date you over and over again. I never want to lose that spark and if we do I want to never forget how to ignite it again.

We argue, we agree to disagree but no matter what at the end of the day I will always chose you. You are my rock. My best friend. My everything.

 

I Love You.

Oh Monkey See Monkey Do

Sweet Cheeks is obsessed with his daddy, and whatever his daddy does he has to copy. I don’t know how many times I have to tell my husband “please watch what you do… he is watching.” does my husband listen… eh to some extent then well… he forgets again. Typical male right. So, anyhow sweet cheeks was visiting his great grandparents with his brother and sister while mommy and daddy went out to dinner, and to which extent my son was watching my grandfather get upset with the washer and out of my grandpa’s surprise this innocent little 2 year old says and I quote “Papa is that washer pissing you off.” Now, grandpa is not a man that swears in front of a woman, and I wouldn’t be caught dead swearing in front of my grandparents but my innocent sweet cheeks said a naughty word. Grandpa of course chuckled under his breath and corrected him along with answering his question. My husband and I both got reprimanded for not watching what we say.

A new phrase my little guy started saying is “Oh whatever” to EVERYTHING. “Sweet face did you put your shoes back?” His reply “Oh whatever” I love my 2 year old and I love watching him grow into a sweet young man, lately I have been dreading the thought of my babies getting older and not being able to have anymore children. His personality is growing and changing everyday and it is quite insane to realize how much they pick up.

Two Year Olds…

With a house full of five people things can get pretty wild. I have a husband who works swing shift so he is either sleeping, working, or running around acting like a kid. Secondly, we have a 10 year old who is starting to get a little cocky and thinks his parents know absolutely nothing. Overall, he is very respectful but with his sports and everything else things with him can be pretty exhausting. My daughter well she can be very dramatic, and a miss know it all. But, lastly we have the two year old and by god he is pretty cute but also very whiny.

I don’t know how other peoples two year olds but the ones I have seen I thought to myself “man my child is very well behaved” well that surely changed. He cries over just about everything. “Mommy I want juice” My reply is normally “not until you ask me nicely sweet cheeks” and as soon as I say that it is like his whole world fell apart and he snaps. He throws himself on the floor, screaming, crying no no… not crying it’s the annoying fake cry that makes any mom wanna crawl in her bed and lock the door. I mean come on how hard is it to say “Mommy can I have some juice PLEASE” No, no that’s the end of the world.

Another great thing my two year old does is antagonizes his brother and sister, why must you take your sisters toys sweet cheeks now I have one child crying because he brother has her toys and sweet cheeks laughing because he thinks his mom enjoys hearing all this chaos. Why must you go upstairs to your brothers room and write all over his desk sweet cheeks? Bug comes home and flips out because once again he has to take a magic eraser and clean it up.

Mr. Sweet cheeks why must you take off all of your clothes and jump in the shower when daddy is in the shower. He just needs some alone time too… (I say that with a I don’t actually care face because well this daddy gets alone time all the time) but I hear… “Chelsea.. come up here please and help me I got soap in his eyes” Up I run. One day no joke lol I hear frantically screaming well when I heard that I immediately ran upstairs thinking oh crap what happened.. Do you wanna know what happened. Sweet Cheeks was just learning how to walk and this child has always preferred showers over baths so my husband was taking a shower with him well he was very curious and squeezed my husbands… ya… and my husband let out the loudest scream ever, needless to say I laughed.

Some days I wonder how are moms such super hero’s really we are, or at least we try to be. This thing called motherhood is not easy, but damn its the most wonderful cherishing thing ever. Just think one day they will be grown up and we will be wanting these days back.

 

When I Became a Mom:

I normally can’t tell strangers my story of the first time I became a mommy, without me getting some kind of bull crap look that immediately makes me want to throat punch them because well they don’t know me, they don’t know the non sense I dealt with the depression the self esteem issues, that is still taking day by day to be a positive, strong, and self positive person; but, most of all its the statistical category they throw me into. I wasn’t exactly ready to take on little person when I could barely take care of myself. I had no idea what I was getting into when I became pregnant, well no one does and I learned that over the years and having 2 more children, everything is different with every pregnancy.

So, lets dive back 11 years ago and talk about my “Bug” (if you didn’t read my about page I don’t ever say my kids real names I use the nicknames we call them daily) I was 13 when I got pregnant, I had no idea what to do, what to say. I hid my pregnancy pretended I didn’t know. I think I was in more of a denial stage. My family and I went to Florida to Disney I was riding all the rides and feeling great. I was young looking back I would of never rode rides I would of never did half the things I did back then. Finally, my mom found out not by me either she had a suspicion because I was getting a little chubbier. I was 14 at this point. At this point my family new everything.

Abortion wasn’t even a option for me, as for me and what I believe in I could never forgive myself. Adoption however it was an option, I was actually at the adoption agency looking at beautiful families that want there own precious baby. I had a couple in mind, but first things first I had to get a sonogram. My first doctor appointment was ridiculously scary and I didn’t know what to say or do; but it went well baby was healthy and they sent me on my way to the hospital. I had a long wait in the waiting room the emotions that flooded me and my mom were scary and it was the lowest point in my life not knowing what to do. Finally, we were in the ultrasound room, I was laying on the chair and they caught a glimpse of this sweet, beautiful little boy. I was 6 months pregnant by that time and he was so healthy and I was screaming with joy on the inside, at least I did something right.

Time froze I didn’t know what to say or do so I cried, I looked over at my mom and she was crying too. I couldn’t do it at that time I couldn’t give this baby up no matter what the circumstances were he was mine, I couldn’t do it. I told my mom and she gave me a long speech and told me if I keep this baby I can’t flunk out of school I cant go out with my friends all the time, and I certainly need a job. Agreed! When, I was 9 my mom was in a car accident and became paralyzed from the chest down. So, together we were gonna do this. I have 2 younger brothers Z is 22 now and R is 18. Fast forward past the middle school heart breaks and how hard it was being in 8th grade and carrying around a pregnant tummy… we will get on that topic another day.

August 31st 2007, I gave birth to a beautiful 6lb 14 oz 21 in little boy. He was beautiful and I was so scared but motherhood it runs in my veins. So, with my mom, and aunt helping me bring this child into the world and a waiting room full of a great support system he came and he cried and it was the loudest cry I have ever heard. Bug and I had our ups and downs his mommy is a young mommy, at the age of 25 now and Bug is almost 11. I am not only proud of the little boy I raised but I am proud of myself for not letting statistics beat me. I made something of myself, I am married to a wonderful man that loves Bug so much as if he was his own. Bug is such a active little man (when I say little I legit mean he’s a little shorter than the rest of his classmates but we will sprout up soon) He excels in everything he does and I really don’t know where he got that from. But together we learned its not about what people think or what they say its about you, I know my worth and I know my roots and I will always stand by that.